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Sunday, June 25, 2017

Life at 50 ...


Last week ... besides busy with the 'charity tasks' ... I had a bad news. An old classmate of mind (of KB's school ... std 3 to form 3) passed away due to cancer. At age of 50  ... life is really short.


This is the only pix I took when I attended her wake ... Friday night, rushed off ... went with few of my old-classmates.

Tho I was never really close to the deceased, I was still sad inside ... it pained me to know that life-is-short ... very short. We all need to face reality as we are aging ... growing older and living our lives to the FULLEST ... positively ... is the way we should be living.


See the fire-flies inside this small container? I searched the net ... found this one to be posted to my FB ... the day she passed away. I live myself at the moment ... I was saddened and reminded myself that life is indeed .... short. At 50 ... how many more years do I have ... ? How else could I contribute to people around me ... and help those needies? How else could I 'repay' those who helped me in my struggling years (not many, actually) ... tho I knew I have to move on ...

.... appreciate days ... weeks ... months ... making up the coming years?

I don't know ... thanking God I m stll alive ... still kinda healthy. We could never know ... as one day, my FB posts will stop ... this blog would be permanently silenced.

I don't know ... hw long I could still be around, for my family ... to be alive and kicking.

What I do know ... is ... as I m still alive, waking up in the morning ... and able to sleep soundly at nights, I need to appreciate many things come my way ... letting go of guilt-feeling ... and those critics who finding faults in everything I m doing ... and what I have done.

Learning to let go ... is the way to love myself.

Learning ... about LIVING itself takes great effort as I have to re-learn many things I have been taughtly "wrongly" ... learning to love again ... grown up in such a 'hatred' surrounding ... needs more than courage. It takes time ...

Today ... at age 50, after some 9 years of blogging here ... I have to say that I m no longer looking forward to blog .. no longer eager to share my trading ideas and sharing my daily thoughts ... yeah, I am no longer being 'left alone' to be sincere to teach ... the world full with bad-human ... and being hurt many of times, I chose to move away ... and move on. At times, we wish to explain to the 'outsiders' ... but it is tired and endless loop of repetitions ... words that hurt us and pointing out our scars ... which took years to heal.

After 9 years of blogging (used to blog in daily basis in my early years ... Aug 2008 till 2013) ... I m tired.

Tho I wish to reach out to my sincere nice readers ... the only way is to make the blog 'private' and given them the new link to the new blog I m creating ... but it defeats the purpose of me blogging.

I want to share my opinions ... not only on trading/investing ... but in lives in general to public, and my readers ... without being JUDGED.

It is not possible(I know la ... I m 50, u know ... not born yesterday, as they said) ... more bad-human (selfish and self-centered with ulterior motives) coming into markets ... to manipulate and it is the battle of fittest?

I m sorry ... I m the weak one ... so, allow me not to blog and move away ... as I m still living, I choose to be with only good readers, good human ... and I never retaliate, offend ... and wont even defence.

Life at 50 ... (bday was last month with 80plus bday wishes in my FB) is ... like hanging in balance ... I grew wiser .. more balance ... and wondering about the years to come.

Believe me ... if you have gone thru what I have gone thru ... you will be tired.

Perhaps ... one day ... sooner than later ... I will be resting in peace. After all, we all will go ... leaving the world.

Perhaps ... soon ... this blog will be silenced.

Till then ... I do hope I could still find the courage, passion ... will to blog here.


One day ... I will be missed by few out there, few readers who appreciated my sharing, my teaching ... and my mere existance. Before I leave .... instead of visiting me during my funeral, would you take an effort to contact me ... and we go for a drink?

TEH

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