I have spent about 2 hours to write/read about Ecoworld and Armada. It is a hobby ... things that I like to do whenever I am 'free''. It is a long weekend, and I m down with flu after whole day of going places. Well, I spent my day ... visiting my mom(after a month!!) and bringing her some moon-cakes. She will always say ... 'don't buy those moon-cakes, it is over-valued and not-worth it. But, if got people gave u as gift, I wont mind la' ... so, at least next time I know that I could buy her some of her fav type of moon-cakes but need to tell a white-lie? hehe ...
My mom does not read my blog ... my aunt SK does. Well, so ... as I knew she 'might' be reading this post, I will want to dedicate this post to her ... my 'ádopted' mom. We bro/sis will be bringing her for a lunch gathering tmr ... and I will be so glad to see her. I am not sure ... I came back to KL(from KK) also mainly because my moms are 'old'. They have been with me when I was young ... naïve, naughty and such ... and being more able today, I wish to spend time with them in their remaining years ... we could never know when we might no longer around. So, I do not wish to regret ... that I did not spend time with them ... when they needed me to be around them. Well, my kids are their grand-kids too.
This is something I could not explain ... even to my wife. I just feel that I owed them too much ... especially my aunt SK, who has been with me ... always helping me whenever I m in 'trouble' or needing assistance. She is always concern about my being ... and, it is from her I derived human values. Kor-kor, if you are reading these lines ... I want to say a big "THANK YOU".
Don't worry ... I m not shy to tell the world, the surrounding ... that I owed much of my good beings ... from your good teachings. I may be the odd one, the not-so obedient type. I may have always wanting to do things my ways ... but, deep inside me, I do carry your words and teachings ... on how to appreciate lives, how to be a good human, in general.
Do you remember the day you advised me to 'drop' the add-math when I failed badly when I was in form-4? It was your whisper to me ... your concern that spurred me to work extremely hard in my Math as I knew I was not good in Math back then. I was too playful ... and not focusing in my school-works. I admit I was a 'lost' kid ... but, your kindness shone .... and opened a path for me. Your caring heart touched me ... and I promised not to let you down. I slogged, I struggled ... I cried. I wanted to prove to the surrounding so much that I am good in my Math, and to make you proud. You were a Math-teacher. How could I not good in the subject?
So ... I did it my silly way ... I worked for hours daily, in improving my Math. Yup ... I scored well in Math there after.
Do you remember ... when you said "it is very hard to enter local university being a Chinese?". I knew we were financially poor, you supported us with your small primary-school teacher's salary. I appreciated the struggle you have sacrificed for us kids. So ... I went on to prove to you that I could do well enough in my STPM to enter local Uni. I was lucky ... I went to Malaya to do my Math degree. I was 'mature' enough to give tuition and trying to make-end ... thanks for being there to support my Uni years .. yeah, with aunt SP's help too(and my sis).
Uni over ... working time. I was ''lost'' again ... but you have been keeping track of me, always. You are concern of my being ... being such a caring "mom" to me. How lucky I am to have you ... to know such caring and kind person. If I m to tell ALL ... how patient you have been towards everyone around, including me ... I will place you high-up there as the best 'model' of a good human should be. Never taking advantage of others ... listening to others, being a peace-maker ... and so much more.
I was so lost ... not only broke, stressed ... I want to 'escape' from all. I left KL ... but, I really miss your 'caring'. I knew I have to grow-up, be independent(merdeka and bebas?) .. and not to trouble you anymore. Time passed ... I was there in KK for 10 years. I could never be able to make it, without your encouraging words.
Do you know why I am back to KL? Besides my job, better living for my young family ... it is because of you. Yes ... I want to be with you as you fully retired. But, it was such an embarrassment to you and family(I felt so sorry) .. that I was broke. I came back with nothing in hands, no gifts for loving you ... but more burdens. I should not have troubled you ... but, naturally ... you came to my rescue.
You bought me the RM100 mattress as I do not even have a nice place to sleep. You came all the way to help me clean my new rented place. You pushed some cash to me, knowing that I was totally broke ... I did not show to you that ... I cried. I felt so useless ... being at age 40, but have been living on your kindness. Yes ... again, your re-assuring voices to me ... sending a strong message, telling me to be strong and still believing in me that I could pull it thru(again?).
That was merely 4 years ago ... today, whatever I have achieved(and aiming to do), I owed that to ... you. I could never be able to re-pay your kindness. BUT ... I knew you are proud of me each time I done some charity-works!! Yes ... that is my driving force ... besides that is what I wanted to do, anyway.
You gave me the greatest guidance. That is how huge your influences on me, as a mother. Being with me since I was very young. I will always take your words as my own words. I will tell your stories to my kids when they are grown up. I will want them to appreciate you too. Without you, I am nobody. I may have strayed so much ... but, each time I did ... you pulled me back to the right-path.
Anyone with love for their mom, appreciating their mom's deeds ... doings, might understand how I am feeling. More than being grateful ... more than anything, you are always my light.
Please allow me to be closer to you ... as I want to spend time, understanding you as you have done for me. I could never be able to do enough, but the least I could do ... is to bring some cheers and smile in you. You are too kind ... to all. You are the light for many, and you have sacrificed enough. For now, I will want you to read this post ... which I written for you, as I have wrote thousands of post about stock-analysis which you do not understand about. Yet, you are there to know a little of my doings. Do not need to be ... call me, anytime ... I will be there for you.
Being Asians, we may not show our affections towards those we love ... but, I simply do not wish to contain my emotions to few beloved ones. You are definitely meant a lot to me.
Today ... I want to make you a proud 'mom'. It is not a mother's day. I never believe in such a day, anyway. To me, everyday is a good day to tell our mom that they meant a lot to us. So, you are in my thoughts, my mind.
I will continue to do well ... I will take-care of myself, as I want to take-care of many too. I will want to make you prouder ... when I could able to do more charitable work, and learn about your kindness in giving. You have my highest respect of ... what a good human should be. I will certainly wish to be a good-human as you have taught me to be.
I will want to hug you tmr ... and tell the world how you gave me LIFE ... and to live.
Thank you for being in my entire life so far. No one could take away this pride.