Sunday, May 04, 2014


Taken from my facebook(as I shared most things in FB rather than blog)

Tonight ... after some arguments with some brilliant and bright students(I do NOT teach them personally) regarding the 'children playground' (well, they were taking pictures sitting/standing on the children playground ... get the picture?) ... I think I found one of the many reasons ... WHY I AM MOVING OUT of college-teaching.

First of all, these college going students came from average or above-average family ... financially and brain-wise. It is sad to see that SPM results improving in EVERY YEAR basis for past 20 years ... but the standard of our education has dropped drastically. It is sad ... for a person who is passionate about education. So sad that we could not do anything much to re-vive it. It is our gov's responsibilities ... but they have used education as their political agendas and screwed up our whole education system. We are far-behind.

Secondly, I started to realise that there are more and more paperwork to be done. Wait ... we teachers are supposed to teach in classrooms, interact with students and guiding them? But ... alas, we are heading into a direction where teachers(lowly paid) over-stressed with tonnes of paperwork. In order for colleges to compete, in obtaining MQA accreditation and ranking, they have to comply to more paperwork, procedures, regulations and more what-have-you ... in expense of the core of education : To educate our young generation(s).

Seeing the depleting moral, lowering respect towards teachers ... commercialising of private education sector ... I know, one day ... I will be too sick of teaching in colleges(unless I need the salary?) ... as we, teachers will be seen as employees ... and students as customers. We even have to 'entertain' parents, at times. There is something seriously amiss ... in the huge puzzle I am trying so hard to comprehend. Due to the limitations of my ability in comprehension ... I could not find the missing piece. It is so-so disconnected ... MORAL as a subject where students without much awareness of it? String of "A"s in exams without understanding of subjects and implications of the philosophy of education? What is education ... and how does it helps us to grow to be a 'better' educated human? Is the $$$ that we are chasing in getting those certs? Are we so used to corruptions that it is OK with us as it is part of our culture and done by our leaders? How do anyone explain that ... teachers no long motivated to teach kids these days, comparing to 10-20 years ago? Why do we have so much of moral-issues ... which not addressed? the list of my frustrations could be very long ... as I am writing this with sadness.

I am sad ... not because I 'lost' in the argument with those brilliant sponsored students. I am sad ... for our country, Malaysia. It is saddening to see these very bright sponsored students lacking in awareness of many things. Things that come naturally from heart ... There is still something amiss here and there ... which I could not ... gather. I could not hold on to the teaching job, knowing that I am just a puppet working to complete my syllabus ... and am not suppose to feel? How are we getting to call ourselves developed country with such mentalities? What is the point of being high-income country, where we are seeing such a decline in human-values ... slipping further lower than we could scoop?

I am sad ... as I am leaving a job that I have hold on for years, despite the 'low' salary. It is called 'passion'. It is personally embedded inside me ... and the sadness could spur me to get involve in the 'Ubah' program. That is how strong I feel ... about education.

At times, it is the best to be ignorant ... as we are UN-aware ... of many things. We do not need to be passionate, to feel so strong ... and concern about the welfare of our country. We could just move away ... quietly leave ... and taking care of our own family or surrounding. Yes ... it is the best to be numb. Ignorance is bliss. but that is not living, in my definition. To live ... we need to have conviction. We need to stand for what we love for ... what we believe in, and continue to strife.

allow me to close myself ... and i do know my sadness will last awhile.

Sorry for all my mistakes. Sorry for not doing a good enough job



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