Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I am only human ...

very BUSY...

or very EMOTIONAL ...

or both.

It is stressful to trade without peace of mind. It is difficult ... to juggle our busy working schedules within our trades. It is never easy ... as many following my traces, my trades. I am only human ... I do have lots of things planned to be carried out. But, at times ... I could not find the momentum. The thoughts of letting go ... the lethargic limbs refuse to move ... the blur-ness in thoughts ... shutting down, when we needed 'it' most.

I am far too busy for my own good. In the midst of my very busy schedules, I m 'organising' a charity-drive. Yes, physically tired carrying those items(at times, we just wish we could just give the money away, easy way ... or be ignorants like many others!!) ... so, in a way, I enjoy doing these stuff, getting myself extremely busy. Those care for me worrying about my health ... physical, mental and emotional.

Facebook ... a platform for me to communicate with my groups. Today, I am silenced. I tried to chat with my tratles. My brain ... shutting down. Am I going to hibernate as winter is nearing? While the sound of the bear around the corner ...?

The ups and the downs being shared. Facebook is a platform many sharing their emotions, personal events, views ... and being viewed by all? Blog is another e-space many net-izens shared their personal opinions and emotions. I have been using both, more for personal grounds. But, recently ... facebook and blog have been a platform to communicate.

We could easily misunderstood messages and moods sent thru these e-space. A person who which to camouflage his/her emotions may be placing contradicting lines.

When we read others facebook's pages or blogs, we should not be judgemental. We do not know what the main purposes the person written about his/hers situation publicly. So, we should not jumped into our own conclusions and get worked up for nothing.

Clarifying situation is becoming critical, especially when our judgemental minds are closed. We always want to listen to only things what we want to hear. es More of than not, we have our mindset made-up and difficult for us to see the other side of the coin.

A few of those 1210 so-called friends in my facebook might be reading these lines and WILL make their own conclusions about why I am writing these lines ... in fact, before they even done with reading, the mind have a fixation on what THEY want to see ...

What is in your mind?

That is always the line we are being asked in facebook ... but do we really write what we have in mind or do we just write to seek attentions, dramatising our own situations? Do we honestly will write what in our mind, independently ... irrescpective of what other may judge us? WE ARE NOT ALONE.

If one still could not get why I am writing these lines today, it is OK. We do not need to know why others writing what they are writing. It is not for us to understand the 1210 friends we have, if they are reading our posts, or should we be concerned how they are going to see us!!

To my students and ex-students, I am not those normal lecturers of yours. Do not judge.

To my blog readers, thanks for still hanging on to read my ups-n-downs of my daily trades or lives.

To my fans(heck, am I a celebrity or what?), thanks for the support. will you buy me a pack of choc, please?

To few family members of mine, I am not even who you all think I am. Nevertheless, you all are still closest in my heart.

To my beloved wife and kids, I will work hard to give us a better family, a better living.

And to the politicians, please DO NOT restrict the freedom of speeches.

Thanks to those 1210 so-called friends for hanging in my page, as I am removing many more soon.


I wrote the above before market opening and I have classes at 9am ... I dont know. I could never be able to explain to others ... my wife, my kids, my family members, my tratles and e-tratles, my students, ex-students, my 'fans', my blog readers, my contacts, my potential 'tratles', my friends, my colleagues ... who else passing by in my short life?

I have always been a 'loner', I prefer to be left alone .. I do not join parties, dislike crowds ... I never enjoy attention ... and I want to do things FOLLOWING MY HEART(read the book by Andrew Matthews) ...

I want to write the blog the way I want it to ... even without a reader!! I have written my 'dairy' in e-space for about 10 years plus now, it is just that currently I am in stock-market, so I m just sharing what I am learning, going to learn ... trading and going to trade. No one force me too ... and certainly not with those personal ulterior motives. Not everyone is bad, ok? Not everyone is using their blog to TRICK those newbies/novices ... not everyone teaching trading to earn easy-money, ok? And those out there still judging me, they are the one having some motives. Who am I? I m simply a blogger ... a Math teacher without much financial background? Why would I be a threat to anyone? I am too naive ...

I am too sincere too ... and as my wife always reminded me ... do you think those people will appreciate you, if you have gone? Why are you so 'afraid' to charge others? Why you must be so kind, good to others? I ponder ... perhaps, the way I was brought by my simple yet kind aunties? I can't explain many things I am doing ... I do not expect others to accept me, but I really want to follow my heart. There are not many humble, sincere and kind people around ... in such materialistic world, we tend to FIGHT, to STRUGGLE ... simple in the name of 'personal gain'?

I do see those sharks(broker houses, media ...) are bad-people, preying and earning from the ignorants and innocent ones. But ... that is how market works? REALLY? We are SUPPOSED to believe them, asking us to buy-sell according to their reports? REALLY? We are supposed to attend those thousand-dollars trading courses? REALLY ?? We supposed to be attracted by their sure-win sales gimmick and tricking people into their products etc etc??

REALLY? Am I allowed to EXPOSE them here publicly in MY own blog? Yeah right ... it is not real. It is just my illusions ... my short lost of memory, out of depressions ... don't know what I am talking about. Can I claim innocent if I said I am drunk?

Yes, visibly ... I am disturbed. It is MEDIA ... now, they are coming in with ACTS to control words posted in e-space. I get upset as ALREADY I do not have freedom to write in my own blog and now ... I would not be able to voice out my own emotions. It is CONTROLLED and being monitored.

This is how low MALAYSIANS could go ... they don't see the positive side of things, or things you have done. They wanting to see things so complicated and judging you based on what they vaguely seen/heard. You get so fed-up with these humans ... but they are EVERYWHERE.

Time to take a break, more classes and lunch.


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